About Gastronomic Racism. And More…

Since BLM (as in Bad Looking Muggers) began their marches along our streets, they have scored many small victories. They want to change the world. That requires new revolutionary lingo, habits change and, of course, imbedding themselves in the American culture they so want to see gone. Anything goes here – renaming places and events, reshuffling the dictionary. Gangsta talk is in. Anything white people do or say should be declared racism and must be eradicated by hook or by crook. Mostly by crooks they represent. So what should the ‘vultures of the cancel culture’ turn their beady eyes to?

Anyone going to a fine restaurant to dine on white tablecloth, to eat off white china plates, and use white napkins are committing terrible racial crimes. Drinking white wine should be banned, and so should be Fettuccini Alfredo, béchamel sauce, mozzarella dishes and the white pizza – all terrible reminders of the white domination. “White Russian” cocktail should be expunged from all bars, but the Black Russian should be treasured and ordered whenever possible. By chance, do you know any black Russians who joined the BLM movement?

Pasta, white mashed potatoes and white salt are all no-no’s (black pepper is OK but not because of aroma. Because it is black).  Brown sugar is good for you, and so is brown rice. White sugar and white rice are surely racially motivated. BLM must know something we don’t. The tautog fish name should be in, blackfish name should be out. No black should be a fish these days (except when you find one who drinks like a fish, but that is terribly racist). On the other hand, whitefish salad is what BLM wants all of us to be processed into; when it gets an opportunity (fish is optional). They must feel very sour over white sour cream.  If you enjoy the white meat, does that make you a culinary racist? On the flip side, if you enjoy the dark meat what does it make you? A BLM supporter, a cannibal or just someone with a special sexual appetite? I’m not sure at this point.

You can be a white racist inside also. It is called internalized racism. It happens when you ingest white milk, white rice, white cottage cheese and eggs, but these come out of you in some other colors, and as the substance you want to quickly flush down the toilet (which is white, too). Racists are everywhere these days!

An asylum or a prison is an institution. Institutional racism is really an asylum where personnel and patients wear white gowns. All institutionalized BLM supporters should be fighting institutional racism from the inside (of prisons that is).

In case you didn’t know, we also have structural racism. It occurs when black thug struck you in the face, but that’s your entire goddamn fault. Live and learn! And someone please come up with a good definition of interpersonal racism, ‘cause we can’t.

Can you be woke, while cooking with the wok? Stay tuned, we are learning the facts

Cocaine is white, but it reddens your nose and blackens your reputation. Good thing it is outlawed already

It occurred to me that we are surrounded by terrible racial injustices. You just have to look around:

– While wall car tires – pure white on black racism

– White supremacy in the restaurant kitchen means a supreme chef and all personnel wear white robes and white caps

– Every painted road sign is white letters on black asphalt. How terribly racist. We must all do something about it

– Old time black and white movies are full of it

– WhiteOut is virulently racist, as it smothers black letters on white paper. It should be whited out, pardon, wiped out. The BLM membership is upset by this unsightly product

– The bright white moon looks mighty distrustful

– White Cliffs of Dover must be renamed into something else

– Black and white photography must be a suspect from now on

– White clock dial with black numbers – is it black-on-white or white-on-black racism? Does anyone know?

Antarctica is one racist continent, where black penguins are an oppressed minority – always pelted with winds, white snowflakes and low temperatures. The land is covered with white snow. White icebergs there are totally cold towards the liberation of black penguins from the snowy white racism. BLM, take notice!

‘Dreaming of a White Christmas’ song must be banned; whoever wrote it was insensitive to the racism flourishing in this country. On the other hand, dreaming of the black, racism-free Xmas stirs none of the same emotions.

Questions, questions, questions …

What do we do about 50 white stars on our flag? If BLM has its way, we are looking at a flag change. I bet the sad state of affairs gravely insults their membership; they wake up with nightmares at night. On the other hand, let’s not change anything; let them have insomnia, staying a-woke-n.

Should a ‘black sheep of a family’ stop being a derogatory term, and instead become praise?

Do we outlaw the toilet paper? It is inherently white and eventually gets into every ass, both black and white.

How soon should America get rid of the racist white water rafting, white roses, white weddings, white gowns, white bread and white chocolate; white lies, white rice, most pillows, bed linens, snowmen, cotton swabs, clouds, dental floss; white doves, white knights and finally The White House?

Would BLM object to being called a ‘white elephant’? They don’t belong here and they don’t belong anywhere. They also cost us a lot. 

And finally – a joke in very poor taste. “What do you call a violent BLM supporter who assaulted police baton with his head?” A blackout (or should it be a WhiteOut for the white BLM adept?).          

We must laugh in the face of BLM and its pests; make them the butt of our jokes. They fully deserve it.

We will never wave a white flag.